


A Demon Called Cancer

by Bladam_Shevine



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cancer, Depressing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Protective Stan, Reckless Behavior, Recklessness, Recreational Drug Use, References to Depression, Road Trips, Sad Story, Sickness, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Triggers, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-03 02:59:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12739632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bladam_Shevine/pseuds/Bladam_Shevine
Summary: When Kyle Broflovski was diagnosed with cancer Stan decided instead of wallowing in sorrow, they should make the best of a bad situation, prompting the two boys plus an eager Kenny McCormick to pursue the road trip of a lifetime. But will Kyle's increasingly risky behaviour put a toll on his ailing health?





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter might be a bit slow moving since it's basically an introduction to the plot, but things will pick up in later chapters. As this story does deal heavily with cancer, I advise you to take caution reading if this may be upsetting to you. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!

_Cancer._

A toxic word.

A disgusting word.

The word was an utter array of conflicting emotions: fear, sadness, worry, confusion.

Vulgar thoughts stemming in the mind of the three individuals that sat, listening as the doctor continued repeating the diagnosis.

The word triggering a paralyzing silence in the room.

_Leukemia._

“H-how?” His mother’s mouth gaped open, not fully understanding the words that escaped the physician’s mouth.

The aging, gray-haired man tipped his glasses back, eyes not leaving the papers in his hand.

“Leukemia involves the production of abnormal white blood cells- they don’t function the same as the normal cells. They keep growing and dividing and crowd out the normal white blood cells.” He was trying to define it in layman terms, it was obvious.

His father spoke now, “I just don’t understand how this could happen…”

“There’s no exact cause, Mr. Broflovski. There’s genetic and environmental factors that may play a role, but we can’t pinpoint-“

His mother cut the doctor off, her red hair was stuck against the tears on her cheek. “W-what are the next steps? How do we make him better?”

The doctor sighed and flipped over the page. “I want to start chemotherapy as soon as possible. We’ll work out a schedule for when he can come in for treatments.”

His mother nodded. He noticed how her hand was running through his curly hair in an affectionate manner.

His dad spoke again, his voice shaky and tired. “We thought it was just the flu.”

The doctor’s face was understanding. “Kyle’s symptoms were mild. Nevertheless, I’m glad you decided to bring him in. The earlier we catch the disease, the better the prognosis.”

“And what is the prognosis, doctor?” His father’s voice sounded more shrill than intended.

The doctor frowned. “It differs for everyone, but Kyle is still in the early stages of the disease. I’m optimistic that the treatments will be beneficial for him.”

“I’m too young.” He took the time to speak up, his voice quiet and barely heard.

His mother knelt down beside him. “What, bubbeh?”

“I’m too young.” Kyle repeated. A tear rolled down his cheek.

“Leukemia can affect people of all ages-“

Kyle ignored the doctor and kept speaking. “I’m only seventeen.”

His mother wrapped her arms around him, sobbing loudly. His father watched, shedding tears of his own.

“I’ll give you a moment.”

The doctor stepped out, leaving the family to weep as reality made an unfortunate appearance.

***

They were allowed to go home. Treatments were scheduled to start later that week.

The Broflovski family sat in the car, a solemn silence filling the small vehicle.

“I don’t want Ike to know.” Kyle spoke up from the back seat.

His mother shook her head. “We can’t keep secrets, Kyle.”

“Then let me tell him. By myself.”

“That’s fine, bubbeh.”

They pulled up in the gravel driveway, Kyle stepping out not waiting for his parents. He stepped inside to see his little brother strung out on the couch, his eyes fixated on the TV in front of him.

“Hey Ike.”

The twelve-year-old waved in acknowledgement.

“Can we talk?”

Ike nodded and clicked the power button on the remote, turning his attention to his older brother.

“Not here.” Kyle said, gesturing upstairs.

The two boys walked up the stairs, Ike’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Kyle led the way into his bedroom and motioned for Ike to sit on the edge of his tiny twin bed.

“What’s up, bro?”

Kyle felt guilty in a sense, having to disrupt his brother’s innocence by sharing such a intolerable truth.

“It wasn’t the flu, Ike.”

The Canadian boy cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“My illness. The fatigue, the weight loss, the pain… It wasn’t the flu.”

“Oh?”

Ike’s face was strewn in an expression of worry, clearly anxious for Kyle to continue speaking.

“Ike, I have cancer.”

The younger boy’s face paled. “Kyle, if this is one of your practical jokes, it’s not funny.”

“It’s not! It’s not a joke, Ike. I’m serious. Mom, dad and I just got back from the doctor.”

“So… You’re going to get better right? That’s what the doctors are for; they’ll make you better, right?”

Kyle frowned. “Well, they’re going to try…”

“But they’ll try hard, right Kyle? You’ll get better… You have to.”

The red-headed boy shook his head. “I-I don’t know…”

Ike shot up from the bed, his face red with anger and pointed his finger at his older brother in an accusing manner. “You will get better. I won’t let you get any sicker than you already are. Because… I-I’m not ready to lose my brother, Kyle. You can’t leave me. Not yet.”

Kyle embraced the smaller boy and hugged him tight, letting the tears soak his green shirt.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Good. Because I won’t let you.”

Their mother chose that moment to walk in the room, the sight of her two sons crying and hugging breaking her heart. Her mascara had run down both cheeks, causing dark circles under her eyes.

“Boys, why don’t we go downstairs? I’ll make some dinner. Let’s try to have a nice evening okay? Let’s just forget about everything right now. We’ll have some dinner, and then watch a movie together as a family.”

Ike nodded and exited the room, not making eye contact with the other two.

“Are you coming, bubbeh?”

Kyle shook his head.

“I need to talk to Stan.”

His mother smiled in understanding. “If that’s what you want. I love you, bubbelah.” She said, reaching out to hug her eldest son. Kyle wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace. “I love you too, ma.”

She turned and left the room as Kyle pulled out his phone. He swiped open the phone to reveal his previous conversation with Stan:

**_Kyle (1:37 pm): I’m heading off to my appointment now. I’ll text you later._ **

**_Stan (1:41 pm): Good luck dude. Let me know how it goes._ **

Kyle’s fingers hovered over the keyboard as he tried to inscribe a text to his best friend.

**_Kyle (4:18 pm): Hey_ **

**_Stan (4:21 pm): Hey. How’d it go?_ **

**_Kyle (4:22 pm): It was okay. Are you busy?_ **

**_Stan (4:24 pm): No, just finishing up some homework. What’s up?_ **

**_Kyle (4:26 pm): Can I come over?_ **

**_Stan (4:27 pm): Sure._ **

Kyle locked the phone screen and shoved the device in his pocket. Grabbing his sweater, he headed out the tiny bedroom and down the stairs.

“I’m going to Stan’s.”

Ike looked up, his face somber. “You’re leaving?”

“I’ll be home later, Ike. I promise.”

“Don’t be late, Kyle. It’s a school night.” His father said from his spot on the sofa.

Kyle could see his eyes were bloodshot. He had been crying again.

“I love you, son.”

“I love you too, dad.”

“Bye bubbeh.”

Kyle smiled and shut the front door behind him as he stepped out into the chilly evening. It was only the beginning of October and yet it felt like December outside. He pulled his sweater tighter around his shoulders as his teeth chattered from the cold. _Good thing Stan only lived a block away._

It wasn’t very long before he found himself on the front steps of the Marsh residence.  He knocked gently on the door. Almost immediately, Sharon Marsh appeared a huge grin splattered across her face.

“Kyle! What a surprise! Stan didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“Hello Mrs. Marsh, I hope it’s not too much trouble, I just need to tell Stan something.” Kyle returned the smile.

“No trouble at all! I was just making dinner. Are you hungry?”

He hadn’t really eaten that day, but he also wasn’t hungry. His stomach was still tied in knots due to the sickening news he had received only a few hours before.

“Oh, no thank you Mrs. Marsh, I ate before I came here.” He lied.

“Well, alright. Let me know if you boys want something though! Stan’s just up in his room.” She stepped aside, letting Kyle pass by.

“Thank you, Mrs. Marsh.”

He climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway. Stan’s bedroom door was slightly ajar. Kyle lightly pushed it open to make his presence known. Stan looked up from where he was sitting on his bed, his headphones in and a chemistry textbook sprawled out across his lap.

“Kyle! I’m so glad you’re here. I don’t understand any of this stuff and I have a quiz tomorrow. Do you think you can help me study?”

Kyle nodded without saying anything and sat on the edge of the bed across from his best friend.

“Okay I’m really struggling with this chapter. What’s the difference between a cation and an anion?”

“Cations have a positive charge, anions have a negative one.”

Stan frowned and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m definitely going to fail. I don’t know anything. How do you know this stuff?”

“I study.”

Stan smiled. “Yeah, I think maybe a bit too much.” He closed his textbook. “So what’s up? Why’d you want to come over? Just to hang out? Oh! You’re appointment, how was it? Did they figure out why you’re so tired all the time?”

Kyle stuttered. “I-uh-y-yeah they sorta found a reason…”

“And? What did they say? Is it because you don’t get enough sleep? Staying up all night studying isn’t healthy. That’s what it is isn’t it? You’re sick because you study too much.” Stan was laughing to himself, but Kyle just stared down at his feet, blankly.

“Kyle?”

He looked up at the raven-haired boy, whose face was masked in concern.

“Yeah?”

“You’re super quiet. Is everything okay?”

“N-not really.”

“What’s wrong?” Stan sounded anxious. “You can talk to me.”

“The doctor… He ran some tests. And uh, w-we weren’t expecting the results to be so… devastating.”

“Devastating?”

“Yeah.” Kyle nodded. _Maybe deciding to tell Stan was a mistake. Maybe he should just go home and keep this as a family issue._

“Kyle, seriously… You’re scaring me a bit-“

“It’s cancer, Stan.” Kyle interrupted him.

“ _What?”_

“Cancer. Chronic lymphocytic leukemia.”

“Wait… what- what are you saying? How did this happen? You’re just a fucking kid…”

“I know.”

Stan places a hand on his pale forehead. “What the fu- Cancer? Are you kidding me? How can you have cancer?’

Kyle shrugged. “I don’t know how it happened. The doctor said there’s no exact cause… “

“ _What the fuck?”_

“I know, Stan. I know. I was just as shocked as you were.”

“I just don’t understand… Why you? Aren’t you already diabetic? Isn’t that torture enough?”

“I guess I really drew the short straw on the whole health lottery, huh?” Kyle smirked.

Stan didn’t laugh.

“So, what are they going to do? The doctors- are they going to give you some pills or something?” Stan questioned.

“I’m going to be starting chemotherapy treatments later this week. My cancer is still in the early stages so we have hope…”

“Fuck dude. I can’t believe this.”

“Neither can I, Stan.” Tears were staring to form in his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time that day. “There’s so much stuff I haven’t done yet… I wanted to graduate, and go to law school… get married, have kids- But-“

“But nothing Kyle. Don’t talk like that. You’re still going to be able to do all that stuff.”

“You don’t know that, Stan. I just have so much stuff that I’ve wanted to do in life, and now I don’t know if that can ever happen. Hell, I’ve never been drunk before, I’ve never even tried pot-“

“Then let’s do it.”

Kyle looked up, sharply. His brows furrowing at Stan’s words. “Huh?”

“You said there’s all this stuff you want to do, right? Well I say let’s do it! Hell, we’ll take the week off and have an adventure… A road trip! You can get all the things you want to do out of your system before you have to start treatments! We’ll get drunk, and find women and have the vacation of a lifetime.”

Kyle was staring at his friend with wide eyes. “Are you insane? No, seriously, are you fucking nuts, Stan?”

“Yes, Kyle, I am serious! You deserve this. You deserve to have fun.”

_It would be exciting… And he wouldn’t be having much fun after chemo started… Wait was he actually considering this?_

“What about school?”

“Fuck school! Fuck grades! Fuck first period English with Mr. Browning! I’ve got a car, Kenny’s got a fake and I say we blow this joint!”

“Wait- Kenny?”

“Yeah! Kenny’s always the life of the party! Plus he’ll be able to hook us up with some booze and weed.”

Kyla shot up from his spot on the bed. “I-I can’t believe I’m actually thinking of doing this.”

Stan looked at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Kyle. Let’s just go. I want one more memorable week with my best friend.”

Kyle pursed his lips shut, giving the trip one last thought before agreeing.

“Okay.”

“Okay!?” Stan shouted in assignment.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Stan fist pounded the open air. “Yes! Woohoo!”

Kyle held his hand up to silence Stan. “But-“

“But?”

“I don’t want Kenny to know about _the cancer_ , at least not yet anyways. I’m not ready for him to know yet.”

Stan nodded in agreement. “Okay we’ll just make something up to him. Now, go home pack your shit and come back here later tonight. I’m going to call Kenny. We’ll have to sneak out so as to not wake up our parents. The sooner we get on the road the better.” He explained, ushering Kyle out the door.

Before leaving, Kyle turned around to face his friend. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“No! It’s a horrible idea! We’ll probably all be dead before the end of the week, but I say _fuck cancer_ and let’s do this.”

Kyle smiled in return.

“Yeah… Fuck Cancer.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated, please no hate! This story is personal to me so please be kind. I am also open to suggestions you may have for further chapters.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to update, I've been very busy at school! Winter break starts next week so hopefully I can finish a couple more chapters over the holidays! Enjoy!

Kyle walked the short distance back home. He was almost hoping his parents and Ike would be in bed, but knew that wouldn’t be the case being that it was only 7:00 in the evening. When he entered the living room the three other Broflovskis were sitting quietly watching some old black-and-white movie. All three eyes turned on him as soon as they noticed he was home.

“Kyle! You’re back so soon?”

“Are you feeling okay, bubbeh?”

“Yeah, Ma. I’m fine.”

His mother stood up from the couch and made her way over to him, placing the back of her hand on his forehead. “Are you sure you don’t feel too hot? Cold?”

“I’m fine, mom. Promise.”

Sheila nodded. “Okay, hon.”

“Actually, I did have a question to ask…”

“Anything baby! What’s wrong?”

“No! Nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to ask if maybe… Maybe I could sleep over at Stan’s house tonight?”

His mother frowned. Clearly, she didn’t want Kyle out of her sight for too long, given his fragile state. “Oh… Honey… I don’t know, it’s a school night, and I don’t think it’s the best idea… Gerald? What do you think?”

His father’s face was also masking an expression of apprehensiveness. “Kyle, don’t you think it’d be better for you to be in a comfortable environment… I mean just given the situation?”

“I’m not made of glass, dad.”

“I know, Kyle… It’s just-“

“Look, mom and dad-“Kyle interrupted. “I decided to tell Stan the news, about my diagnosis. And the truth is, he didn’t take it very well. I’m just a little worried about him, and he’s worried about me. Do you think that I can sleep over? Just for tonight? Plus, after I start my chemo treatments I might not feel up to hanging out with him, so I figure that we should maybe get together and just chill and talk. I think it’ll make us both feel a little better. Please, mom and dad?”

His parents sighed and looked at each other. “I guess its fine, Kyle.” His father said.

“But I expect you to go to bed at a reasonable time and wake up for school tomorrow!”

Kyle beamed. “Thanks so much you guys! I love you! I’m going to go upstairs and pack an overnight bag!”

He ran up the stairs, almost tripping on his own feet. _This was so exciting. A road trip… God, he felt so rebellious. He hadn’t done anything this bad since… Since… Nothing. He wasn’t a bad kid. He always obeyed his parent’s house rules, did his chores and followed curfew. But now was his time to experiment. He had a whole week before treatments started and he was going to go all out. This was going to be a life-changing experience._

He grabbed a large yellow duffle bag from his closet and began packing in an unorganized fashion. He threw random shirts in the bottom, his toothbrush, glucose meter and a few pairs of underwear. Not knowing what to expect, he just packed the necessities.

As soon as he was pleased with the contents of his bag, he made his way down the stairs.

“Alright I’m heading out now!”

“That’s a pretty big bag for one night.” Ike spoke up. _God dammit, why did he have to be so observant?_

“Yeah, Kyle? What’s with the huge sack?” His father asked.

“Oh… I just packed some textbooks in here, in case Stan and I want to do some studying.” He lied.

“That’s my bubbeh! My smart little boy! Always doing what’s right.” His mother exclaimed as she came over and kissed his forehead. “Please be safe tonight, baby. And call me if you feel ill at all.”

Kyle smiled. “I will, ma.”

“Bye, bubbeh.”

“Bye everyone!”

He breathed a sigh of relief as he shut the door behind him. _Perfect. They had no idea what he was up to._

He felt a little guilty lying to his parents like this, but he knew they would never let him go on a trip like this- cancer or no cancer. They had always been overprotective, but after he started getting sick they went started going overboard. His mother kept him attached to her hip, afraid that the inevitable would happen if she let him go.

Kyle shivered as he walked down the street towards Stan’s house, bag in hand. It didn’t take long for him to arrive. Kenny was on the front porch finishing a cigarette.

“Hey dude.”

“Kyle! Glad you came! Stan’s upstairs packing.”

“What time are we leaving?”

Kenny took a puff before speaking. “Stan wants to leave within the hour. His parents are out for dinner so he wants to leave before they can ask any questions. You might want to hit up the bathroom now before we leave.”

“Nah, I’m good. Where’s your stuff?”

Kenny gestured to the small backpack sitting on the ground next to him. “All the shit I need is right in here.”

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s all you’re bringing?”

Kenny nodded. “Yeah. I don’t own a lot of stuff.”

The boys laughed as the front door opened and Stan Marsh stepped out, his blue gym bag grasped in his right hand. “Let’s go.” He said.

“Now?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah. I don’t know when my parents are coming home and I want to be gone before they get back. And Kenny put that cigarette out now I don’t want you smoking in my car.”

Kenny rolled his eyes as he put the butt out on the ground.

Stan popped the trunk as the three teens moved to throw their bags inside.

“I call shotgun!” Kenny eagerly shouted. Kyle didn’t protest. He didn’t mind riding in the backseat. It gave him the opportunity to simply put his headphones in and doze off for a while.

Stan made his way around to the driver’s seat as Kenny jumped in the front. Kyle shut the trunk as he was the last one to throw his bag into him.

A sudden feeling of worry overwhelmed in as the reality of the situation hit. _Should he really be doing this? Was this safe? Was this the best thing for his condition right now?_

“Kyle! Hurry the fuck up!” He heard Kenny shout.

“I’m coming!”

He made his way to the right side of the car, sliding into the backseat behind Kenny.

“Are you okay?” Stan asked, noticing the worried look on the red-head’s face.

“Yeah. I’m good. Let’s do this.”

Stan smiled. “Where are we heading?”

“Let’s head south. Towards New Mexico, where it’s warm… I really need to start working on a tan for the ladies…” Kenny spoke as his eyes stayed glue to the cracked screen of the phone in his hands.

“Who are you talking to?” Stan asked.

“Annie Knitts. She’s a beautiful blonde babe.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “You horny bastard.”

“Don’t judge me. At least I’m saying goodbye to my girl. Did you even tell Wendy you were leaving?”

Stan shook his head. “I couldn’t have her telling my parents.”

“She’s got you on a leash, dude. You’re going to have to ditch her soon.”

“No way Kenny! She’s hot… and besides I actually feel a connection with her. Unlike the girls you fuck once and toss aside.”

Kenny smirked as Stan started the engine. “Alright, so south it is I guess… Does that work for you, Ky?”

Kyle nodded. “Sounds great.”

  _Anywhere is great… as long as he can escape the truth for a bit._

Stan pulled out of the driveway and headed down the quiet street.

“Wait!” Kenny interrupted before Stan could even hit the designated speed limit.

“What?” Stan practically growled.

“I’m starving.”

“So?”

“Can we please stop at McDonalds before we get on the highway?”

Stan groaned. “Jesus Christ Kenny. You’re turning into Cartman. Do you ever stop eating?”

“Fuck you Stan; my parents can’t afford to have good food in our house.”

“Fine Kenny, we’ll go to McDonalds. But you’re treating Kyle and I.”

Kenny frowned. “Dude, I can’t afford to buy for all three of us…”

“It’s okay guys, I don’t want anything to eat.” Kyle interjected.

Stan glanced back at him in the rearview mirror. “Are you sure?”

Kyle nodded.  “I’m positive… Plus McDonald’s isn’t the best place to eat when you’re trying to keep kosher.”

Kenny scoffed. “I’ve seen you eat bacon before, dude.”

“That was back when I was like, what… maybe 9? That was before I even knew what the laws of kashrut were! Besides, I think it’s healthier anyways.”

Kenny rolled his eyes. “Since when do you care about eating healthy?”

“Since-“Kyle cut himself off. _Since he was diagnosed with leukemia…_

“Never mind.” Kyle said, hoping Kenny would drop the conversation altogether. Thankfully, he did as Stan pulled into the McDonald’s drive-thru.

Stan pulled up to the speaker after the car in front of them drove forward.

“Welcome to McDonald’s, how can I help you?” The static-distorted voice of a young sounding girl said over the speaker system.

“I’ll get a quarter pounder with cheese and a medium coke to drink.”

“Will that be all?” The voice asked.

“No!” Kenny shouted, leaning over Stan to make himself heard. “I’ll take a medium chocolate milkshake, a medium fry and a 10 piece chicken mcnugget, please and thank you.”

“Will that be all?” The voice repeated, almost sounding irritated.

“Yes.” The two teens said in unison.

“Alright that’ll be $15.76, please pull forward.”

As Stan gently stepped on the gas to pull up to the window, he held his right hand out in front of Kenny.

“Come on, dude. Cough up the cash.”

Kenny frowned. “What? You were serious about that?” Stan nodded as Kenny sighed and pulled a twenty out of his wallet.

“You’re buying the next meal.” Kenny stated.

Stan handed the girl the money and grabbed the bags of food from her hands. He pulled over to the nearest parking space, unwrapping his burger and began to devour it quickly.

“Oh sweet Jesus, this is delicious.” Stan said, smiling.

Kenny nodded in agreement as he ate another chicken nugget. “You sure you don’t want a fry, Kyle?”

The red-headed teen shook his head. “I’m okay. I’m not hungry anyways.”

Kenny shrugged. “Okay, suit yourself.”

As Stan finished his burger he folded the garbage into his hands and placed it in Kenny’s lap. “Go throw it out.”

“Why me?” Kenny whined.

“Because you’re the one that wanted McDonalds in the first place. Just go throw it out.”

Kenny muttered something unintelligible under his breath as he collected the garbage and stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him in anger. When Kenny was gone, Stan took the opportunity to turn around and face his friend sitting in the back seat.

“Kyle. I want you to be honest with me. After we leave this parking lot, there’s no turning back. So, I want to make sure now that you’re okay with this… I want to make sure you’re feeling up to it. Because if you’re not we can turn around now, no questions asked. We’ll just make up something to tell Kenny.”

Kyle smiled at his friend’s concern. “Stan, I really want to go. Actually, I _need_ to go. I need to get my mind off of this whole situation. I think being with my two best friends is the perfect thing for me right now. It’ll distract me for a bit, and I want to have some fun before I start to get really sick…”

Stan nodded in understanding. “Okay. If you’re sure you’re feeling up to it.”

“I am, Stan. I promise.”

“And if you start to feel sick at any point, let me know right away.”

“I’ll be fine, Stan.”

Stan opened his mouth to say more, but was interrupted by Kenny coming back into the car.

“What took you so long? The garbage is only a few steps away…” Kyle asked.

“I had to pee. Now, are we going to get this trip started or what?”

“Is everyone buckled in?” Stan asked as he started the engine.

The two other boys nodded as Stan shifted into reverse and exited the parking lot.

“New Mexico here we come.”


	3. Chapter Three

“Jesus… Kenny! Did you just fart?” Stan asked as he rolled down all four car windows.

“Sorry.” Kenny said, smirking.

“What the fuck dude!?”

Kyle jolted awake from the back seat after hearing the commotion. “What the hell guys?”

“Kenny farted.”

“Jesus Christ Kenny.” Kyle said, while heaving an exasperated sigh.

“Jesus I said I was sorry!” Kenny said as he grabbed a cigarette out of the carton he stashed in the glove compartment and fumbled with the lighter.

“Dude, put that out. I said no smoking in my car.” Stan said, clearly aggravated at the blonde boy.

“C’mon, Stan. I’m jonesing. We’ve been in this car for 2 hours now and you haven’t pulled over for a smoke break!”

“Fine then, I’ll pull over.” Stan said as he switched on his turning signal and merged lanes. He pulled the car over and motioned towards the door. “Get out.”

Kenny rolled his eyes and jumped out of the small vehicle.

Stan turned the engine off as he and Kyle sat in silence.

“I’m going to go stretch my legs.” Kyle said, after about 30 seconds of sitting and staring into space. Stan didn’t acknowledge him. Kyle got out and stood beside Kenny as the two teens leaned against the car. Kyle stared at the cigarette resting between the fingers of the blonde.

“Can I have a drag?” The Jewish boy asked, mesmerized by the toxic object.

Kenny raised his eyebrows. “Uh… Sure?” He said, passing the cigarette to his red-headed friend.

Kyle stared at the cigarette for a second before holding it to his lips and inhaling. He immediately started coughing as the smoke entered his lungs.

Kenny laughed and reached over to take it away but Kyle quickly shook his head. “Do you mind if I finish it?”

Kenny shrugged his shoulders. “If you think you can handle it, be my guest.”

As Kyle went to take another puff, the two teens startled when Stan slammed the car door shut and screamed. “Kyle! What the fuck are you doing, dude?”

Kyle grinned with a discomforting amount of pride. “I’m trying my first cigarette.”

“Yeah I can fucking see that.” Stan said as he grabbed for the cigarette in his best friend’s hand. “Put that out dude.”

Kyle pulled his hand away. “You’re not my mother, Stan.”

Stan’s eyes widened “What? Kyle, c’mon put the cigarette out. It’s not good for you.”

Kenny scoffed. “Let the boy smoke if he wants to, Stan.”

“Stay the fuck out of this, Kenny.”

Kenny put his hands up in a surrendering position as Stan turned his attention back to his red-headed friend.

“What the hell are you smoking for?”

Kyle shrugged his shoulders. “I just feel like smoking.”

“Give me the cigarette, Kyle.” Stan held out his hand.

“No.”

Stan ran his hands through his black hair as his anger finally boiled. “Christ! Fine then Kyle! Get fucking lung cancer for all I care!” Stan’s face went red as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth. “Kyle… Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“Its fine, Stan.” Kyle tossed the cigarette on the ground below him and made his way around the other side of the car, refusing to make eye contact with the other teen.

“Kyle-“

The red-head didn’t answer as he shut the door and slid into the back seat. Kenny stared in stunned silence. “Is something going on that I should know about?”

Stan shook his head. “Everything’s fine, Kenny. Just forget it.” Stan said as he made his way back to the driver’s seat. Kenny slid into the passenger seat.

Stan started the engine without saying anything. Kyle stared down at his hands in his lap.

The three teens drove in awkward silence for what seemed like hours before Kyle spotted a sign that stated the nearest liquor store being located at the next exit.

“Let’s go get some booze.” Kyle stated.

Stan and Kenny both glanced at him in the rearview mirror.

“What?” Stan asked.

“Take the next exit. Let’s go get some beer and shit and we’ll get a motel. Have a party or something.”

Kenny clapped his hands together. “Yes! Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

Stan shook his head. “We can’t afford it.”

Kyle quickly pulled out his wallet and opened it, showing his friends the many bills he had. “I got payed from work last week. I was saving it for a rainy day, but I say fuck it. Let’s go.”

“We’re not old enough.” Stan said.

“Kenny has a fake.”

“Yeah, I have a fake.” Kenny ensured.

Stan rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on with you Kyle, but I’m in desperate need of a drink so that’s the only reason I’m agreeing to this.” Kyle smiled brightly as Stan took the next exit and soon pulled into the parking lot of the liquor store. As Kenny stepped out and Kyle made an attempt for the car door, Stan grabbed his friend by the arm stopping his attempt to leave.

“Kyle. This isn’t like you. Smoking and now drinking… Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine Stan! I just want to experiment a little… Who knows how much time I have left, right?” Kyle stated without breaking his grin.

The words hit Stan like a brick as Kyle got out of the vehicle. He was almost ready to collapse in tears, but Kenny interrupted this as he pounded on the window. “C’mon dude! Let’s get some booze!”

Stan opened the car door and made his way into the store behind Kyle and Kenny. The three boys split up deciding to browse their designated aisles. Kenny went straight to the hard liquor, deciding on a bottle of Jack Daniels. Stan went to pick out a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. He smirked to himself thinking of Kenny’s white trash family and how it was his dad’s drink of choice.

Kyle was new to the liquor store and was unsure of what to pick. He never really drank before except for the occasional glass of Manischewitz wine his parents let him try at Passover. He eventually settled on a bottle of vodka. It would get him drunk pretty fast, and that’s what he was hoping for. He just wanted to drink and temporary forget the pain he was going through.

It was tough and he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He was struggling emotionally. He was hoping that this road-trip would help get his minds off things, but he was wrong. He couldn’t help thinking about himself- in a month or so from now, after he starts his treatments, being bald and sick from the chemo. He’d be weak, have no motivation to do anything. He didn’t want that. He wanted to go out with a bang. He wanted to die the fun way.

_He wanted to die._

Kyle shook his head. “No. You don’t.” He thought to himself.

 _Yes you do._ A voice said from somewhere inside his head.

A sudden hand in his shoulder made him jump out of his thoughts. He turned around to see Kenny facing him. “You ready to go?”

Kyle nodded. “Yeah.”

“Is that what you picked out?” Kenny asked, motioning to the bottle of vodka in the red-head’s hand.

“Yeah… I guess.”

“Didn’t take you for a vodka guy.” Kenny said as they made their way up front where Stan was already waiting in line. The raven-haired boy narrowed his eyes as he noticed Kyle’s choice of drink. “Vodka?”

Kyle shrugged. “Why not?”

“Whatever, dude. Just don’t drink that too fast.”

It was their turn and the three teens put their bottles on the counter. The attractive blonde cashier looked at them suspiciously. “You got ID?”

Kenny nodded, handing over his fake. “We’re all 21.”

The girl studied the card in her hands. “You don’t look 21.”

“Yeah, well we get that a lot…”

The girl rolled her eyes and handed Kenny back his card as she ran the items through the scanner. “That’ll be $62.94.” She said.

Kyle mouth almost gaped open in shock. _Alcohol was expensive…_

Kenny paid the cashier with the money that Kyle had given to him when they entered the store. As they waited for their change Stan looked at Kyle, noticing his pale face. “You alright?”

Kyle quickly nodded. “Yeah of course. Just didn’t realize how expensive it would be.”

Stan chuckled. “Yeah it adds up.”

The cashier gave Kenny the change as the three boys exited the store and made their way back to the car. Stan got back in the driver’s seat, starting up the engine. Kenny opened up the bottle of whiskey he bought and took a swig.

Stan grabbed the bottle from him. “Put that away! I don’t want to get pulled over!”

Kenny rolled his eyes. “Fine. But let’s hurry up and find a motel. I’m ready to get drunk.”

Stan pulled out of the parking lot. “I saw a motel not too far back. I’ll head towards there. It looks pretty run-down, so hopefully it’s cheap.”

Stan frowned as a buzzing sound was heard from the cup holder next to his seat. “That’s my phone, Kenny can you check that?”

Kenny nodded and grabbed the phone, reading the call display. “It’s Wendy.” He announced.

Stan groaned. “Ignore it. I can’t deal with her right now.”

Kyle sat quietly in the back seat as he vaguely heard Stan mumbling to Kenny about his relationship issues. But, Kyle wasn’t really listening. He was too distracted by the thoughts in his head. _He was going to die soon anyways, so why not do it himself, right?_

_He could do it… He could find a painless way. There were a lot of options. He could stop taking his insulin, he could slit his wrists, he could take pills…_

Kyle all of a sudden felt sick at his intruding thoughts.

“Stan, pull the car over.”

“What? Kyle-“

“Now!”

Stan obliged and pulled over to the side of the road. Kyle practically sprinted out of the back seat and clumsily fell onto the dirt below him, heaving and gagging. Thankfully, no puke actually escaped his stomach. He hadn’t noticed that both Stan and Kenny had exited the car as well, nervously staring at their friend on the ground.

Stan bent down beside the red-head, gently placing a hand on his back. “You’re feeling sick?”

Kyle nodded.

“Do you want us to turn around? Take you back home?”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Stan. I’m fine. I just felt… carsick, I guess.”

Stan and Kenny grabbed the teen by the arms, helping him off the floor and back into the car. There was an awkward silence before Kenny decided to speak. “I know something’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on.” Kyle argued.

“I’m not stupid.” Kenny said.

“Kenny, everything’s fine.”

“Everything’s not fine. You two have been acting weird this whole trip- especially you, Kyle. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. I just don’t understand why you’re keeping secrets from me. I’m your friend too…”

Another silence followed. Stan moved his hand to start the car again, but Kyle stopped him by breaking the quiet awkwardness that filled the vehicle.

“You’re right, Kenny. There is something going on. But, I’m not ready to tell you yet.”

Kenny pursed his lips. “But Stan knows?”

Stan nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“Yet you don’t want to tell me? Am I not your friend?”

“No Kenny, you’re absolutely my friend! One of my best friends, actually! I just, I can’t tell you yet, Ken. I’m not ready, and I don’t think you’re ready to hear it either. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Kenny laughed, though it seemed almost sarcastic. “You’re sparing me? You’re afraid of breaking me? You think I’m fragile?”

“Kenny-“

“No, it’s fine. I get it. You and Stan have an unbreakable bond. I’m just the third wheel here.”

“Jesus Christ Kenny, that’s not it…” Stan interjected.

“Well I just don’t understand why you can’t tell me what’s-“

“Cancer.”

Stan and Kenny both shut their mouths as the words escaped Kyle’s lips.

“What?” Kenny asked.

“It’s cancer.” Kyle repeated.

Kenny’s face paled. “Are you… Are you serious?” Kyle nodded. The blonde boy looked to Stan for confirmation as he nodded as well.

“You have cancer?”

Kyle nodded.

“Then what the fuck are we doing here on a road-trip? You should be in the hospital Kyle!”

“I wanted to do this, Kenny. I’m not ready to start the treatments yet. I’m not ready to face the truth yet.”

“Fuck…” Kenny said his voice cracking as he spoke.

“I know.”

“Fuck. Kyle, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine Kenny; let’s just enjoy the rest of the trip, okay?”

“I don’t know if I can… Not after finding this out…”

“Kenny, please. I wanted to do this trip as one exciting thing to do before I have to face reality. I didn’t want to tell you so we can have a good time. Can we please try and have a good time?”

Kenny ran his hand over his face. “I guess we can try-“

“Thank you, Kenny.”

Stan started the engine. “Let’s go find a motel. I think we all need a drink.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
